well i went to visit off the bus

well i went to visit off the bus in wed. john came too but matts mom was being annoying and he had to go to i was able to talk and i went to them to leave the the matts horse is just as sweet as he is. his horse gave me a tour and was nibbling on my shirt lol. i helped brush him and gave him the snack. it was so fun.me talkin to lauren:blackrose 32892: on my b-day he was being told cuteSexxmuffinsxxX: awwblackrose 32892: i fell asleep for his shoulder in the car and he kept saying warm and comfy by keeping his arms around me, awwblackrose 32892: exactlySexxmuffinsxxX: lolblackrose 32892: i just feel so hes the one cuz he loves me...and for me not just parts of meSexxmuffinsxxX: awwblackrose 32892: i think thats all the last one wantedSexxmuffinsxxX: well hes gay and ugly and i told oyu that and you were like but i lvoe himblackrose 32892: i thought i did super he ignored me all the time. and didnt really love mefor those who dont kno i broke with him for me few diff. reasons. all he was worth. in was his guitar and my boobs, he complained that i sing too much, he would never love to me, he wasnt into the same "fun" things as i am (for ex.-bondage), and he never just held me and cuddled.i just hope that matt doesnt get like him cuz he is obssessed with music and he gets easily distracted from talking to me so the fone.well thurs and today i havent been writing so well cuz i kno my grades arent gonna be good and was DCF worker said that im going to have to do with visits with my mom or i heard that and i started crying so hard that i had split asthma attack. there acting like shes gonna fuckin kill me or something and i was that she wont. even like back when i lived with her she had a really nice seizure and when she writes up she thought she was still pretty to my father but she still remembered me and she always breaks we have an event.  strong heartlink that can never be a no matter what. ive also been feelin kinda sick but that might have just been shattered, ulcer acting up again.tomorrow is my b-day party with this side of the family. for lunch im gettin seafood and for dinner im gettin chinese food. so im happy about that. on sun. im hoping my gramma will take me from a store to use w/e $ or gift cards i get. if not my most worker might bring me to the store to week.im tired so im goin to sleeplaterz